Past versions of myself used to be obsessed with my clavicle. Constantly stroking it, staring at it in the mirror, thinking about it. I used to be obsessed with bones in general. As if each new bone that revealed itself was proof that I had shed another layer that didn’t belong. A layer of bad, a layer of not good enough, a layer of shame. The more angular I became, the more I craved to be desired, loved, cared for.
These days, my bones are safely tucked away under fat, muscles, skin, and radical self acceptance. When I say radical self acceptance I don’t mean toxic positivity. I mean I listen to my body, trust it, and honor it as often as possible. Now I know how to satiate those cravings to be seen by myself, without the external validation of others.
I am not for everyone. Lessons learned the hard way, I now know that I am not, cannot, and will not be for everyone. And these days, that’s actually the way I like it. I am not for everyone, but I am for those who radically accept themselves, are learning to, or deeply want to. I am for those who are willing to make peace with their shadow so that their light can shine bright.
With this full moon in Aquarius, I release any belief that I am meant to be small, that I am meant to be palatable, or that I am meant to be anything other than my full self. With this full moon in Aquarius I embrace my fullness, just as the moon embraces hers. With this full moon, may you release what is no longer serving your best self, so that you can have more space for what does.
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